It was brought to my attention today that I did something that hurt someone’s feelings. In my attempt to be humorous, I came off as cruel. No matter how many times the people around me who love me, cover me and look out for me discussed it with me, I couldn’t see it.
You see, I think if I would’ve been born in a different place or time that I would have been a funny comedian. I think I have comedic chops. I feel like I could make the Pope laugh so hard his robe would fly over his head. I think I’m THAT funny!
Maybe not so much…
See, when you stand on stage, the judgment of yourself is taken away from you and placed in the hands of the people. So no matter how hilarious I think I am, I can’t laugh by myself alone.
As I argued for creative liberties and artistic freedoms, the bottom line is this. Someone was hurt by me. Someone who may have purchased my music in the past was now publicly broken in my attempt to bring the house down by stepping out of my lane and into his. But again, if this person is in the entertainment business, their skin should be tough enough for the job. That’s what I told myself. But my crossroad is, the price I put on being right.. in whose eyes.
Because others view this scene: the offended and God. In God’s eyes, Comprehensionis not a prerequisite for Cooperation. God doesn’t need me to agree when He’s calling me to act. Because here’s the lens of God: someone was hurt.
The price we put on Right is an amount that sometimes is more than we were prepared to pay. Divorce courts are full of “right” people. Families haven’t spoken in decades because of the price we’ve put on being “right.” And if you’re not careful, you could find yourself celebrating your rightness by — yourself.
And feelings… oh, oh, oh, feelings, they are the nemesis to doing what’s right. Watch them. Again, they have no intellect. They connect themselves to whatever thought is taking place at that moment. If there’s a wrong thought going on in your mind, it will give birth to wrong feelings. And who is the slave master to all of this dialog about right, hurt, and feelings? PRIDE.
Apologizing is an acknowledgement of wrong. For many, including the writer, it is a form of weakness. To give someone else that sense of access into my “inner me” feels very intrusive. So we hold on to “right” in order to hold on to “self.”
Cause that’s all we got.
Amazing how we are modeled by our worlds. The worlds of fake strength, touched up photos, and fake smiles when the camera pans over the crowds of empty people… never to hear “I hurt you. I’m sorry that my attempt to be funny, actually backfired and broke your spirit. I did it publicly, so, I apologize publicly and privately. I got your number, and I texted you right before I wrote this blog. Hope to hear back from you when my plane lands.”